Fellow journalist Zachary Goelman: “So, let’s start a restaurant called Ma’aris Ayin, where all the food looks totally trayf but is 100 percent kosher.”

But, then, who would the customers be? According to Zach, those would be “frummies who want to live on the wild side.” In these times, with the world economic systems going haywire, this type of entrepreneurial venture could be just what the Jewish community needs. Or not. But at least it was funny to think about.

Zach came up with the idea when I informed him that my friend from work and I had joking decided to open up a snius strip club to earn some extra revenue. You know, a club that’s just modest enough for the Orthodox Jew – make a few bucks by showing a hint of elbow every now and then. Kosher enough inside, but who would want to be spotted going through those trayf-looking doors?

All kidding aside, this ma’aris ayin notion makes me think of a few situations in the past, where I’ve tried to meet up with ultra-Orthodox friends and colleagues – the situation was always complicated. Starbucks: totally fine, even for haredi customers. But what about Cosi? Sure, they make totally trayf sandwiches and salads, but why is it so uncomfortable for an ultra-Orthodox colleague to join a reporter at a table there over coffee? Why, I asked? Because another Chabadnik might see him or her entering the restaurant and assume that this totally kashrut-minded person was now eating a meal at Cosi – which, in essence, would lead to huge amounts of social alienation within the Crown Heights community. Then again, even if the restaurant was glatt kosher, a black-hatted 20-something man could certainly not be seen eating a sandwich at a table with a pant-clad female reporter, could he? Rumors abound…

Now I certainly don’t mean any disrespect toward those who follow these ma’aris ayin forbiddances; in fact, I have many friends and colleagues who are highly observant or even ultra-Orthodox. What makes me sad, however, is the fact that community members can’t simply trust one and other and respect each other’s actions without unknowledgeably shunning a person to the rest of his or her social network. Afterall, empty tables are difficult to come by in New York, so if you need a seat, who cares about the venue? No one’s forcing you to eat.