Today, I was officially uninvited to a free trip to Israel, my favorite place in the world hands down. Several weeks ago, I had received word that I could accompany a trip group of “Israel Diplomatic Fellows” — young professional Israel advocates trained by Birthright Israel NEXT — on their Aug. 9-16 trip to Israel, where they would tour some less popular avenues in the Jewish State, like Sderot, Ashkelon and well, you get the picture. This seemed like quite an interesting opportunity to get to know other young Jewish leaders, and write about sensitive issues and places.

And then, in walks Oranim. Or out, I should say.

Two weeks ago, after hearing word that the largest Birthright trip provider was severing connections with Taglit Birthright Israel, we ran a story about what had happened; namely, Oranim leader Shlomo “Momo” Lifshitz and Birthright were no longer seeing eye-to-eye. As a journalist for an American Jewish newspaper, it was not just my inclination but my responsibility to write about the fall-out, and I did so in a completely objective manner that was fair to all sides. 

I found out today, however, that the leadership of Birthright does not agree, and they have reneged their decision to allow me to accompany the group. I’m trying to figure out what could have possibility generated such anger against me and what I wrote. I hope that the person who ultimately made this decision will get in touch with me personally, instead of speaking to others about me.

I guess this is just a sign of good journalism, and at least I can say I’m making a difference in some way, sparking enough attention with simple facts to cause this much of a reaction. But in the end, I still somehow feel like I lost. I respect myself for being a responsible journalist, I did give up a free trip to the place I love most. I mean, I guess I’ll  have plenty of time to spend in Israel if I do ever end up living there, though I should admit that I do now have the slightest bit of a sour taste in my mouth toward my favorite country.

So what to do with my 19 vacation days this year, 5 of which must be used consecutively before the end of August? I don’t think I have the money  to go anywhere else.